I’ve done research for about four years as a undergrad and then as a masters student. I’ve had some success, and have published lead author papers. I am very proud of it. However, I remember when working on these projects, I was excited by them, but by time they were published I just didn’t care and didn’t experience the same joy. I just felt kind of empty as it seemed as though I’d live my life paper to paper. I’m not trying to criticize anyone’s career or plans, I think it has to do with my location where many around me are so obsessed with publishing and publishing feels about them, not about the patients/populations. I really think I’ll feel empty in academia. After four years of doing the work, I find that I love the idea of researching cancer etc but in practice I’m not gonna be as fulfilled as I want to be. I still like research in some ways but I don’t feel confident that is what I want to pursue.